Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
