1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
