Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
