3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
