Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
