are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
