But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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