The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
