Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
