Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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