I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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