it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
