There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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