My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
