I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
