Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
