They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Found the puke drawer
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
