i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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