Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
