Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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