Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
