Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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