How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
