I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
