We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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