never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
