i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
