dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
