i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
