I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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