Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
