He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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