Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
