can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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