Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
My vagina is officially offended.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
