What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
