I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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