I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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