If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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