oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
