what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
