There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
