Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
