I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
