after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
