We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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