just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Every concussion has its silver lining
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
