Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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