how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
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