i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
