He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
