did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
