so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
